It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Guess what time it is?
It’s time for SHARK WEEK, motherfuckers!!!!!
Last night was the start of Shark Week 2010, and I was so excited I couldn’t stand it. When I woke up I jumped around in the kitchen where my dad was eating breakfast and yelled out, “Shark Week tonight!” He stared at me like, “WTF?” He definitely thinks there’s something wrong with me.
My friend L and I anticipate Shark Week every year. She lives pretty far from me so we watch it together every night over the phone. We were totally prepared- we updated our Facebook statuses and changed our profile pictures to the Shark Week logo. We had Shark Bites snacks and chocolate wine. Fuck, yeah. We were ready.
Snack Time!
Shark Week is awesomer than my birthday and Chanukkah combined. I’m aware that “awesomer” is not a real word but Shark Week definitely deserves its own dictionary. I’m not the only one that thinks so, either. Here are some other ways that the world is choosing to celebrate with me:
- I found a hilarious description of Shark Week on Pajiba.com (read the “Ultimate Air-Jaws” part- I laughed my ass off).
- TV.com has an incredible drinking game that includes changing the channel every time they show those pussy-ass nurse sharks that don’t eat people. This might be the coolest idea ever invented.
- The Discovery Channel Headquarters in Maryland decorated its building with an inflatable shark named Chompie. Here’s a photo:
Check out the shark in the business suit. No one’s fucking around with that guy.
- Craig Ferguson is hosting this year. Not only does he have a shark puppet in his regular arsenal, but if it’s possible, he just got even more awesome.
Here’s a video of Brian The Shark.
2010 Shark Week has a bunch of new shit, including Ultimate Air Jaws, Shark Attack Survival Guide and Day of the Shark, which sounds like a kick-ass (read: super-retarded) SyFy Channel movie. And if that weren’t enough, the Discovery Channel website offers a feature called “Shark Yourself,” where you can turn a photo of yourself into a shark (note: I actually did this).
Shark Week, I’m going to ask you nicely to stop being so bad-ass. I’m already planning for 2011, and I don’t think I can handle this much excitement.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it agian… Sharks should have a week dedicated to ME!
P.S. I love that you put up a link for “Shark Week” like people don’t know what it is… HAHAHAA!:)
Believe it or not, some people actually DON’T know what it is, including my brother (I’m ashamed). PS- I would definitely watch a week dedicated to you. OK, maybe not a week. But at least a few days.
Hahahahaha so hilarious! I haven’t been able to partake in any shark week festivities yet!!
Also – re: PHilly show – Boston and Philly are both pullin’ at me, but they are on Monday night and Wednesday night! Hard to get there and back to work, especially with all the traveling I’m doing on the weekends (aka every weekend on that tour hahaha….half kidding). What band is trying to open?!
Shark Week is amazing- they did an entire hour yesterday about sharks eating people. It was GREAT.
Fucking hell, I’ve been trying to post a comment on your Blogger account (Blogger: “A WordPress interloper! GET HER!” Safari: *crashes*) only to find out that you have a WordPress one as well. I’m lame.
Here’s the comment that Blogger kept eating (it’s nothing groundbreaking):
“Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?”
I wish I had cable so that I, too, can participate in the supposed drunken revelry that appears to be Shark Week.
Also, I love your blog. Whether you’re being hilarious or serious, you always have great content. It takes a lot of stamina to be so constantly outraged, but you do it with an awesome sense of humor. Am adding you to ze blogroll.
Glee! That was the best line on that show, btw. EVER.
I’m glad you love that I’m so angry, BTW- it justifies my reasoning for being a constant bitch. So thanks for the awesome compliments- I collect them like the creepy people on hoarders collect stuff like candy, or midgets.
I’ve also ordered Blogger killed, just for you.
A+ would read again